Did you know that men sometimes lactate? It's true! Men have a low level of lactation-inducing hormone prolactin, and sometimes weird medical flukes make them secrete "milky fluids" from their superfluous nipples.
With this fact in mind, Michael Thomsen set off to do what any self-respecting journalist in possession of counterintuitive information would do: He wrote a column for Slate.
I'm 33 years old and single in New York City, a cross between Carrie Bradshaw and George Costanza—if there's such a thing as a male biological clock, mine has started ticking. I know I can't birth a child myself, but what if I could bear one to suck at my bosom? Could my rudimentary mammae yield a copious supply of milk?
Thomsen purchases a breast pump and starts pumping his man boobs with regularity, hoping trick the mechanoreceptors in his nipples into triggering lactation. The process sort of aroused him.
It was strange to apply a breast pump for the first time. My nipples aren't accustomed to regular stimulation, and though I felt like I was defying the natural order, pumping was surprisingly pleasant. Nipples are filled with nerve endings, after all, and the gentle upward tug of the pump was both comforting and erotic.
At least the question has finally been answered
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