Huwebes, Agosto 18, 2011
Lunes, Agosto 15, 2011
Biyernes, Agosto 12, 2011
NES Nyan Cat
NYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYAN
Huwebes, Agosto 11, 2011
Rebecca Black Performs Live on America's Got Talent 2011
via youtube.com
It's not bad, but we all wanted the judges to buzz her.
Miyerkules, Agosto 10, 2011
Rapping Backwards
via youtube.com
Prince Ea shows some mad skills when he makes a rap that makes sense when you rap it normally and backwards.
The App That Says Your Internet Life Sucks
via blog.arc90.com
So you think your internet life is cool? Guess what? There's an app that tells you you suck. It's called Appathy. You will definitely need it.
The 'Baby' Project
via youtube.com
The guys at Overthinking It have decided that they need to see how Justin Bieber's Baby sound like in other genres for the purpose of overthinking.
Here is part one, Punk Rock. Naturally, it's a lot better than the original.
Keith Medley - One Of The Most Badass Guitarist (Did I mention he plays a 27 STRING GUITAR?)
via youtube.com
You think your a great guitarist, because you can play that puny six stringed guitar. Think again. In the song "Ancestors", he shows us his mad skills in playing the guitar.
Pixelated Post-It Nyan Cat
Employees of Ubisoft showing their Post-It art outside their office building.
NYANNYANYANYANYANYANYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYANNYAN
How A Great Game Should Look Like
A great game should be immersive. It should make you forget you existed in this world and think that you lived in the world of that game. Amnesia Dark Descent REAL LIFE just shows how it should feel like.
"New Call of Duty games out soon Daniel, you must play it."
via youtube.com
Gotye- Somebody That I Used To Know (feat. Kimbra)
via youtube.com
Here's a really great song with a really cool music video.
Man Shoots Himself In The Crotch
via youtube.com
We have some very emphatic gentlemen right there folks.
The shame of having a PINK PISTOL hitting your crotch is tormenting enough, but having some weapon charges is just...I don't know. Government-y?
The Best Tower Defense Game I've Played in a Long While
Symphonic Tower Defense is the Tower Defense Game we've all been dreaming of. It probably has the greatest fun factor you will ever obtain from Tower Defense games as of now. Great music, great concept and a very addicting(sometimes hard) gameplay that makes me wonder if this will be the future of rhythm games.
via newgrounds.com
Facebook has a hidden feature that makes it go green,Twitter was bitten by a radioactive spider, LinkedIn is still clobbering, Google+ is an omnipotent alien, MySpace is pretty damn blind, Youtube is an emo mutant, Flickr is on FIRE, This title is PRETTY
In the Social Media Top-Trumps, we see what social media sites look like as Superheroes.
SEO rants in 3, 2, 1
Huwebes, Agosto 4, 2011
How to reach the level Dickfinity on the internet
In So you’re MAD about something on the Internet…, we can see what your level of dickery is.
Martes, Agosto 2, 2011
Chapter 4: The Part Where I Sell Out part 3
I wonder how those incredibly retarded creature actually look like in real life. Better check it out.
~John was happy that he finally got the chance to see Rick after a long while, but first things first.
"Where did these guys come from?" asked Rick.
"Thousands of years ago."'said John.
"How long did you know?"asked Rick
"I'm not sure, but I think I knew them since I was kid.~said John.
"What happened? Your cousin was murdered by them?!"
"No, they took my pet rabbit."said John and then he started to tell his friend about the past.
John liked reading superhero comic books. It was a great read for him.
He lived in a city. He was a middle class kid. He liked to go on top of the roof to think things through and sometimes read.
It was his hobby to read. He sometimes collected them. Most people didn't understand why he liked collecting them. Thy fail to see that the first issues are just like great artifacts in a museum.
He had a pet rabbit. It was small, fluffy and white. It never really was anything special. It was just the only thing that he could boss around.
He spends his days having fun. School wasn't something he liked. It was always about how much his teachers are the smartest guys on earth.
Rick suddenly interrupted him. He said "When will I come out in your flashback? Also why don't you show it to us instead of sounding like you're the most boring guy on the planet?"
"Can't help it."said John "It's just that I see the patterns and feel that details are irrelevant."
"Fine, but at least improve a bit."
He had a great friend name Rick. Rick had exactly the same interests as John. Rick was the guy with the video games. It wasn't really common at that time, so it was fun.
John had an engineer for a father. He was a workaholic, but never got promoted. His mother was a bookworm. She usually devours encyclopedias, but she reads a few science fiction novels.
When his father gets home, he asks her why choose science fiction, not romance novels which is what women usually like. She simply responds "Because I planned everything from the beginning."
His father usually scratches his head and goes to sleep. His father just wakes up then takes a bath. He goes to his workplace and goes home to eat then sleep. This was how he did things everyday.
He never really complained about it much. He had no problems bearing with it. There's no use to go against the people who keep him alive.
John's mother is actually the one who controls what happens in the house. For the most part, his father just like an iPod in repeat. His mother just satisfies her hunger then messes around.
She doesn't shop. Every time John went to a store, he usually sees women. He wonders why his mother doesn't go there. He asked her one time and she said "Because that's just a good looking labyrinth."
John always looks up to his mother. She is the biggest teacher in his life. The only grown up who actually tells you what you wanted to know and not stuff it to you, only to be excreted as waste.
One day, his mother told him "We're going to your great grandfather's funeral. It's nearby the forest, so maybe you should spend some quality time with your pet.
By the way you haven't named him yet. What should you call him?"
"Dead Meat" said John "I named him on the day we are going to greet the dead."
"Nice choice" said his mother.
"Oh and why do we celebrate the death of someone we know. Is he bad like Hitler?" asked John.
"No, it's because people pay their debts really late, so they're just catching up." said his mother.
They went to the cemetery wearing black. John and his dad was dressed up like the Men in Black complete with a black tie. His mother was wearing a blazer and high heels.
They got in their worn out van. It seemed to be rusty all over, but they decided not to repair it. John went to the back seat, while his parents took the front seat. John put his rabbit beside him.
When they were near the forest, he looked at the rear window and saw a pale thin man. He had seen furry little things in the man's mouth. They were rabbits. The blood started to gush out of the rabbits. His grip on Dead Meat got tighter. He screamed.
His father suddenly hit the brakes, look back and saw tears in John's face. He asked "What happened?!"
John answered "A crazy hobo is eating rabbits."
His father said "You expect me to believe that this is the first time you saw one?! Look forget about it. You'll see that more often when you become a man."
John was stunned for five minutes. His mother was thinking of how she could explain everything. She thought about the possibility of letting him read novels. Maybe a documentary will do. Their place isn't considered to be the best place to live anyway.
She thought about meeting them, but the lasting she needs is to make him a mortal enemy of the savages. She decided that he'll just learn to grow up with the world around him. She can't let him be dependent on her for long.
There was a creaking sound. It was the window. It seems to stop descending every few seconds. There was a man with a big beard. He asked "You here for Abe's funeral?"
"Yes sir"'said John's father.
"Just make sure you don't go to the forest. The mayor forbids it" said the caretaker.
"Don't worry I pass by everyday."said John's father.
They entered the funeral. The wind blew a few yellow leaves. John got his coat and went to the funeral with his parents. It seemed hard for him to continue walking.
He smelled something like rotten eggs only it felt like it had a soul struggling to get out, but can only scream. His nose suddenly became ears and smelled the screams of the soul.
He didn't want to stay longer. It seemed like a butcher from hell was skinning every soul. The skin grew every second and the butcher felt great satisfaction and John didn't like the the snorts of joy that the butcher was silently making.
He didn't want to stay longer and ran with Dead Meat. He didn't want to call it Dead Meat anymore, it was scary. He doesn't want to be the badass anti-hero anymore. He didn't want to be tough if it meant bearing with the suffering he feels right now.
He felt his hands losing the feeling of furriness. He heard the grass rustle along with him, then he tripped. He saw tiny feet moving like the gears of a bicycle.
His mother came to him and asked "Where's Dead Meat?"
John said "Please don't say that name. Get me out of here."
His mother said "One prayer. That's all I ask. Your great grandfather has done a lot for us."
"Fine, but I don't want to be here. Ever." said John.
"Maybe it's time for you to step into the real world"said his mother.
"What world do I live in then? Am I trapped in a world that is horrible? Is the real world better? Are you even my mother?"
"Not exactly. It's a way for people to say that you haven't seen the horrors of the world yet. The world you live in is happier."
"Then that means your life is harder."
"In a way, yes. It isn't really a problem. Your father lives in it, but I know how to escape for a while. Just remember that reality will make your life harder, but you will learn soon. It is actually great, but you must accept it before it becomes fun"
"Didn't you tell me before that I have to learn on my own."
"I did, but the last thing I want you to get is the wrong picture of reality."
He decided to go near the tombstone. He didn't read it. It was just a plain one. It said 'Abraham Morrow.' Nothing else. He saw that every adult was facing downward with a rosary in their hands.
He put his hands together and prayed. He suddenly heard a very silent noise. He knows that nothing could possible make some noise. There is an air of solemnity.
If anything he heard people crying secretly. Tears rolled down the eyes of some, but not the noise he heard. All he knew was that it was constant, monotonous and silent. Yet, his mind felt something was getting louder and louder.
He noticed that it was snorting. The snorts were echoing through his mind, but he saw no one doing it. A rhythm resonating in his ears. A choir making their final performance. It hurt his mind.
Slowly it seep through him. He felt liquid forming at the back of his nose. It slowly flooded his head. His ears felt it going there. It's waves following the rhythm of the snorts. Sadists had arrived in the resort. Swimming through the torment of the dead. He wants it all out of his head.
He wanted to scream, but his breath magically disappeared. He wanted to breathe. A noose at the end of his nose pulling it further and further. Air entering. Rising making a few cracks. John snorted out loud. He felt phlegm rushing through his head. Ears ached and was about to break.
John fell to his knees. Hands in his ears. A big snort was heard. A satisfied butcher left a little boy coughing out loud spitting at the grass. Grownups look at him with contempt. No one felt his pain. They saw a boy who dares to say his ancestor was gross.
His mother yanked him and asked "It seemed like your sick. You should have told me."
His father came with his face red. "What did you do? Do you know what others think of me now?"
"Let it go" said his mother. " Talked to your brothers. Your son seems to be sick. It seems your son has some hidden allergy in the cemetery. It is his first time."
John went to the car. The radio was playing a few rock songs, then a KISS song. The air conditioner was cool. He looked out the window. He saw the man again. He seemed to glare at John. He then pointed at a rabbit. It was Dead Meat.
Dead Meat was struggling to get out, but the thin man had a tight grip. He drew it closer and closer. John needed to save his pet. He opened the door. The butcher decided to tell the choir to start again and a faucet on his head was turned and released liquid. He collapsed after his first few steps.
On the floor he saw red stain in the grass. A drizzle of blood followed and saw Dead Meat was truly dead. Named on the day he died. The thin man bit off its head. John heard it snapped. He couldn't look. He could only hear pain. Mucus building up in his head.
The thin man walked slowly. His mouth filled with blood. He squat and held John's head. Started snarling at his face. John screamed, by his breath was once again taken.
A rusty feeling was in his mouth. Liquid and red, he realized and cried. The thin man took a small part of Dead Meat. He stuffed it into John's mouth.
John could only cry. It felt tender, yet he only felt bitter. He was about to spit it out, but the song reached it's climax and the choir was louder than ever. It made him suck it. Swallowing a remnant of his pet.~
I was laughing a lot.
"This kid can't be serious. Snot was killing him."
[Want to try it yourself?]
"GUY, you know I am quite busy with some very...important duties. I am sure you are aware of them."
[Like what? Knitting a maroon blanket?]
"What the hell is magenta?!"
"It's a color close to red."
"Now that is better. You see we don't need a lot of colors..."
[Oh boy! This is gonna take an hour.]
"If we are to describe something it must be concise and easily relatable to all. That's why I am making a new rule. To prevent confusion of colors and to be easily understood by all..."
[Or making it easy for idiots to understand.]
"I, the Great Founder, declare that there shall only be eight colors used. Red, blue, yellow, violet, green, orange, black, white. Any variation shall be used with light or dark like dark blue."
[What about gold, silver, purple...]
"And those colors, but no more for they are not essential."
[What about the extremely descriptive account of John on...]
"The big words end here. Besides, I know what a sadist or a butcher is. I don't have problems with those words."
[A man who can comprehend certain words possess those qualities based on their usage.]
"What part of no big words do you not understand."
[You are what you talk about.]
"Not exactly original, but at least I understand."
So far they seemed sadistic. This is a drastic improvement compared to reading about girls fantasizing about being married to a pedophile. Let's see how much the kid is traumatized.
~He vomited, cried and moaned in pain. When he got up, his mother saw him and asked if the thin man was responsible. John nodded.
She sighed and told him to forget everything and hoped that this will never happen to him again. She knows better that this isn't like the ones she met. There must be another war between factions.
She told John "The forest is a deep place. Don't go there. There are many good things in there, but there are equally bad ones. You just met one of the worst."
It scared John, but his mother knows. They won't need to go there again ever. He's sure that he won't deal with them again.
"Seriously?" said Rick after John finished his tale "You got beaten by snorting. This has got to be a joke. I'm sorry about being tortured, but you expect me to believe that they can make you snort. It's gross, but not painful."
"You have no idea."said John "If only you felt it. It's like there was a smell that makes you do it."
"Right. So how does a sadists' resort look like?"
"You wouldn't want to know."
"Oh and choir is meant to be heard not smelled."
"Shut up."
"Besides I have a good feeling that I won't have to deal with them."
"Don't be so cocky."
"Cocky." thought Rick "That's who I was."
Rick's thoughts drifted to an old time. They weren't exactly better, but then you didn't feel like the world was out to get you.
He remembers the times he had with John as a kid. They always go to his house to play video games. John thinks of them as friends, but Rick knows better. He knows that they would never be friends without an NES.
Rick always had fun with people, but he knows that bait is more important. Everyone else has something. Bob, the guy next door, beats other people up if they don't go with him. Rick had no problems with him, because they barely meet.
Sam, the cool guy in school, is quite popular for having the most luxurious of things. Gold watches, expensive shoes bodyguards. He had them. He was the one everyone wanted to be with.
Rick only attracted the geeks. They were more loyal compared to other people, but you needed a bait that most people did not have.
Sam might be the richest guy in school, but his interest was more on style. Rick on the other hand was lucky to have something new.
He had a computer at home. It was a really good bait. His father worked at IBM that time. He needed it for work, so Rick learned to use it and bragged about his abilities.
His father quit at some point to take a job with a higher risk. He worked for Nintendo.
Rick doesn't know much about his life there, but he always needed Rick's help for his work. He needed to know what a kid wanted.
One day, he came him with an odd looking machine. It had a cartridge which you needed to insert in it to make it work. It was a prototype.
He asked Rick what did he think of it. Rick thought it was cool, but he only scratched his head pushed buttons at random.
He saw a wire was connected to a rectangular shaped thing with buttons on top. He had never seen anything like it.
I think anyone who lives today knows that this led to the NES. His father let him play with it. The next day he asked if he liked the game. Rick's eyes were filled with glee when he said yes.
He was having fun with it for a few years until he was bored finishing Super Mario Bros. again and again.
He decided to go to the comic book store. It was his first time to enter such a place, he saw shelves filled with lots of issues new and old.
He decided to try out a Mario comic. After all he was familiar with the game, but a kid next to him said "Don't buy that! It's horrible."
Rick finally found someone he could play with. He asked "You played the game?"
"Nope" said the stranger "but I know the difference between a good and bad story."
"So you never really knew how the game looks like?" asked Rick.
"I definitely haven't seen it."said the stranger.
"I have the game and it's really fun." said Rick.
"Can I try it out?" said the stranger.
"Sure, but there's a price. Help me get into comics and show me what a good story is. Also, drop by my house."
"You are one of the worst negotiators I have ever met. Comic books aren't that expensive."said the stranger. "By the way, I haven't introduced myself. I'm John."
"I'm Rick."
The next day, Rick was just playing when he heard his mother saying "You have a visitor. Says his name is John."
He got up and asked "How did you find me?"
"I uhh...asked my mother." said John.
"Does she know me?"
"No, but let's just say she knows a lot."
John brought a few issues of Superman and Batman. That was enough for Rick's addiction to start.
He realized that superheroes get the attention. People will listen to them, at least when they are trusted. It is at that moment he realized that this is the perfect bait.
This was something that spanned for years. Rick could never remember an incident where it actually worked. However, he can clearly remember several incidents where he just failed.
He had just taken a breath fresh air. It wasn't his best day ever, but great weather must mean something or at least that's what he was told.
For majority of the day, he was just waiting for trouble. One day, the media will asking for an interview or maybe the president will give him an award, but for now he just needs a bit of credibility.
He hears a random cry for trouble. Nothing specific, just a bit of worry in the voice of the one who shouted. He runs with a smile on his face going towards the voice. Running faster and faster, he couldn't care less about what else is happening.The sound is geting louder and his mind can see spinning newspapers and headlines popping around with his name.
Full of glee,he suddenly tripped and three boys were laughing at him. Everyone backed off and lost the will to help. One was skinny, but tall. The other one was surely overweight and the third one looked like every other kid. He had no distinguishing feature, but everyone knows who he is. He goes by the name Paul.
Paul started to dwell into many topics that lasted for an hour. "As you can see, your ambitions are pointless. Only fools pursue their dreams. You came to this world to suffer. I am only helping teh divine realm fulfill its will. When I arrive, I shall be treated with royalty, for they have praised warriors for many generations. I will fulfill my duties in a new way. I shall be a doctor who willl witness suffering. I will treat them for they deserve to suffer for the rest of their lives under my order."
It started to drag on and on. He thought "John is pretty dman lucky. He's probably having a better time than me. I'm stuck with this psycho while John is pretty damn far from here."
This was how he's days in summer were. There was no cat stuck in a tree. Only adults disappearing, but that's only because they live on the other side. It's an extremely long trip and they only go missing, because they got lost in the forest. The only way to get to the other side was to go through the forest.
Usually, new about the people who go missing go to the near end of the newspaper. It wasn't news. Trucks usually go the person's house and bring their stuff to the other side. Everyone who goes missing were reported to have transferred to the other side. At least, that's what the mayor says. He actually pays for the trucks to transfer your things.
He knows there is no use in saving them. They only move suddenly, because of they are able to afford the houses on the other side. It all started when a man went missing. Their side sent a lot of search parties only to see him return with trucks ready to move his belongings to the other side. It has become a tradition for them to do that. It has been a fact known by Rick and every other kid in the town.
The adults, on the other hand, still panic. They can't even see the obvious. They are too busy with stocks or the new movie starring an aged star way past his prime. Rick never heard of the man.
He never gave up becoming a hero, but he couldn't remember why he wanted to be one. He can only see headlines. Despite that, he felt lonely. John always leaves during summer. His parents suddenly wanted him away from town every year.
Summer was supposed to be times of happiness, but only bad things happen. John always goes to some relative, but it always changes every year. Paul comes to visit his grandmother for three months every year. The year before that he had three lackeys. The first one was full of pimples. The second one had a tatoo on his wrist. The third one was a member of the varisty of the other side. They always follow Paul, but they only get replaced every year.
When school came back, he only gets humiliated. It doesn't exactly help when your best friend is a geek. Every single thing in the outcast torture kit was present in every school year complete with bullies, unreasonable unreasonable teacher. Pretty much up to standards with TV shows.
He always thought about Spider-man when he is in school. Just waiting for everyone to thank you for saving them. The opportunity never came.
This was how he lived his life from kid until last year. This year, reality knocked him out hard. He finally saw that life is no longer child's play. He met the creatures that John and him are running away from. His life is at risk. He needs to put it aside for a while. He swallowed his pride and ran for his life.
Now he's talking with his best friend who is also running away from them. He made a hard choice to be able to escape. He has no intentions of telling John.
"Hey Rick! Where are we going. You've look like you don't where you're going" said John.
Rick started to notice that he is almost about to enter a dangerous area. He saw that the leaves were rustling like someone was watching them. He might need to lose them off. He heard a scream nearby. That might be enough time for them to runaway. He quickly told John "Follow me. Quick!"
He ran the opposite direction and felt his foot feehitting the ground hard. The grass felt like they were mash potatoes as Rick ran faster every second. He heard the scream reaching the highest pitch it could attain until it suddenly cracked. Their heart racing faster and faster.
The grasshopper felt the ground suddenly beating. It was able to cause a small earthquake. It was powerful and it only caused panic amongst the bugs, but the gods who caused their pain were cowards running for their lives.
When they got far. Rick suddenly said "Don't worry we're getting closer."
"You know what' John said panting "You need to focus. You nearly got us killed."
"You do know we have weapons right?" said Rick.
"Yeah, but they think I'm dead. That's my advantage. You on the other hand will just show them that I'm a bigger threat. They'll send a larger team."said John.
"Maybe their origins will tell us more about their weakness. Tell me more about what you know." said Rick.
"Fine,but you'll need to know they were humans once." said John.
"Isn't that obvious?" asked Rick.
"Yeah, but they eisted, because of a disease that actually exists."
"And that is?"
"I think you need to understand how I found out."
"Story time again?"
"Of course."
It was quite unusal for most people to approach John. They usually approach him to fulfill some requirements. Nothing else. Nevertheless, they approached him and asked "You know how to make those thingies in computers that talk back right?"
John said "Pretty much. You only need to use the if and else..."
"If you know how, then can your friends to go and help inform the public about diseases." said the one in the center.
He's some business major. He has some rich dad or something, because he always organizes random events that try to promote himself. There is always the part about the welfare of others, but he gets himself a lot of credit.
"Can't you just let the medical students take care of that?" said John.
"Yes, but they wouldn't see that we are early adopter. Besides, people know that computers are smart, so you just get the computers to answer every question."
"And if I say no?"
"They" He suddenly patted one of his friends "will know that you did not do your part in helping the public. You do know how much people trust us."
"He's right" John thought "They'd listen to those jerks, because jerks usually get to lead. Every person from factories to random parts of the country have to deal with these assholes. Douches do things ruthlessly and without a second thought. Sadly, they take advantage of everyone's weaknesses."
"Fine, but be a little specific."
He grinned and said "Make it pop out of the screen. It has a robot that will tell anyone anything they need to know. People just ask questions to know."
"You are aware that I can't-"
He suddenly clapped twice and said "Chop. Chop. A bigger reason why you should start doing it now. Every second lost costs the school a lot of money and productivity."
"But-"
"Time is ticking. You guys are smart enough to use those computers, so start making."
He started it grudgingly. He tried to put any variable that comes to mind, but he erases it every ten seconds. A light bulb suddenly lit in his mind. They stuffed his life into a small box, then he will give the people just that. He will limit the options.
"They said that it has to pop out of the screen." he thought "That means I will just make people use their imagination."
Now he had to decide on the constraints, but then he thought. "They wanted an if/else statement, well they'll get it."
Now he started to remember the first time he found out about if/else statement. He though programming would be hard, but it was a lot like Algebra. He loved Algebra. It was simply stating the obvious in an obvious manner. The problem is it is kind of hard to show the obvious.
If/else statements were merely cause and effect. It worked like this. If you ate a cookie, you get into a lot of trouble. Else, nothing happens to you. So if they enter a valid question, they will get an answer. Else, they'll get an ERROR message.
This seems good, but it feels too boring. It needs to be able to spark their imagination, but he doesn't know much. He went back to his dorm. It had papers scattered. A few comic books like Crisis on Infinite Earths were near his bed. He got Lord of the Rings from his bookshelf. As he was midway through the book, he suddenly shut it and started jotting down notes. Every few minutes, his pencil breaks midway.
The next day, he saw bottles of beer all over his room. He couldn't remember what happened or how he got beer. All he saw beer cans toppled with the beer spilled next to his bed. He decided to skip class for today. he doesn't need any more problems. He needs time to think.
He started to daydream. Lying on the bed,his eyes were closed. He suddenly jumped and went to school. People near him started to cover their noses. He went to the guy who wanted to make the program and asked "When do you need it?"
The guy said "Look around. Oh and Take a bath after this."
He saw a poster that says 'The Future of Disease Awareness. Computer Programmer will Blow Your Mind with his program. Exclusive to this school.'
John said "Is it okay if I picked the disease myself?"
"If you could the program tomorrow, then fine." he said.
He was walking through the corridor and saw a tarpaulin rolled up. He saw the name "Biff McFly". He thought hard to remember where he heard that. He looked further and saw. "Organizer, leader and computer expert." He tried to look for his name. At the bottommost part, he saw "John & friends" in the smallest possible font.
He saw one of his professors and asked "Do you know Biff McFly?"
"Biff?" said his professor. "Oh yes! He excels in everything he does. He always has initiative to do projects that were never his expertise. He has a little assistance from the people who are knowledgable in those fields:"
"Is he the guy who took business that everyone knows."
"Yes. In fact his last project was with the medical students."
"What happened?"
"The medical students claim they did not get enough credit. Biff had proof that they were given credit. The medical students were not happy. "
"Does he usually have a tarpaulin or banner with his name."
"Yes. Other than his name, there are really small letters on the bottommost part. You can't read, but it's his trademark.
"Thanks."
John thought "I should ditch the douche, but he seems to have a plan in case I leave. I don't like him, but he asks like this is the only way he can live. I'll do it, but I'm gonna add my own twist.
That night, John got to work. He saw his ideas already written down. He went to the computer lab that night.
He woke up the next day with more than half of the program filled with "hhghfggfgfvgfbfgftvrjvcfhkvuhffgh" that went on and on.
After he deleted all of the spam letters, he decided to add the finishing touches to his program and showed it.
It was a yes or no program. There were several people who were approaching him. He immediately stood and went to the guy who wanted him to make the program.
He walked to the corridor and turned at the end of the hall. He suddenly felt something bump his head.
It was the guy who asked him to make the program. He suddenly said "Why didn't you employ the assistance of your friends?!"
"They won't do it anyway. I got the program there. Just transfer it to the other computers and your done." said John
"Do you know what people expected?!"
"No, but my colleagues don't need a headache. Even if I don't know much about them, I know that they won't even bother. I only helped you, because I pitied you."
"Pity?! Are you sure? I'm doing you a favor."
"I pitied you, because I only saw a guy who wanted to get on the good side of the public. If we screw up, you will blame us immediately. If we succeed you will take the credit."
"Are you serious?! I had a tarpaulin with your name."
"Okay then 'Computer Expert.' Why don't you tell me how small it is."
"Extremes stand out, so will your name."
"I don't think it works like that when the words are extremely small. Get someone to transfer the files to other computers and your done. If you need me, I'll be in my room."
John was just lying down in his bed. He thought "It was as mom always said 'Nobody wants to hurt you, they just want to be happy.' He remembered the day she said that.
After John was attacked by the thin man, he went into the car with tears falling from his eyes. He crawled to his seat and started to rub his eyes. His mother got in the car and closed the door gently.
In anger, he shouted "Why aren't you going to kill him?"
His mother said "Will killing him make you happy?"
"Of course. It is only fair." he said.
"If I kill him right now, what would his mother think?"
"She will just forget about it."
"But that isn't fair."
John sighed. "What did he want?"
"Pleasure from other's pain. Life is a weighing scale for these people."
"Weighing scale?"
"If I placed a piece of cotton on one side and a piece of cotton on the other, what would happen?"
"The heavier one will go down and it is better."
"Tell that to the fat and thin people."
"Then what are you trying to say?"
"What if both were equal? How do you become 'better' than the other?"
"I will add to one side."
"Where will it come from?"
"The market."
"What if the market did not exist?"
"The jar in the house where you put them."
"What if it does not exist?"
"The other side."
"But."
"The other side has less and you have more."
"That is how they think."
"It's just like all the money in the world. It can't be created, it can only move between people."
"You do know that you can print money if you are in the government."
"Why can't we print?"
"They are afraid that we might think in weighing scales."
"Bur doesn't the price adjust with the amount of money? It wouldn't be fair."
"It does, but printed money usually goes to a certain few."
"Wait doesn't that mean a coin will have less value? Doesn't that mean that more coins will be used to buy a piece of candy."
"Yes."
"Then others would have their money taken away without them knowing. It's stealing."
"Yes, but they allow it."
"Why do they steal from us? Why do we even vote for them?"
"Only a certain few of them know. Even the president doesn't know."
"But you know?"
"Yes."
"Mom, you should be a president."
She laughed and said "I don't want to be one. I'm surprised you know this much. How do you know?"
"Mr. Jenkins."
"The man across the street who sells comic books.."
"Yes."
"How?"
"When a comic book costs a lot more, I asked why he had to raise the price."
"What did he say?"
"Everything else is expensive, so he must go with it. If not, he will lose money. I saw a sign that says 10 comic books cost a certain amount of sliver. I forgot how much. I asked him why paying in silver costs the same. He says that the amount of silver he put there will always be worth 10 new comic books. He said trading cards have different prices, but each card has the same value."
"I'm wondering why he still owns a comic book store. He should become a financial adviser."
"What's that?"
"People who tell other people on how to properly spend money. "
"Why don't you become one?"
"Because I want to teach you and you alone. Anyways, did you figure the rest on your own?"
"Yes, because you don't give enough toys."
"What do you mean?"
"I cannot grow my toys. I have to get it from you."
"You're getting pretty rude now."
"Sorry, but it feels so simple. The rich guys aren't."
"Fine. What do you want to buy?"
"I'll find out in the toy store or when I get those magazines with the cool stuff."
John noticed he was no longer crying. His mother managed to somewhat calm him down, but he remembered what he originally asked her. "So we talked about money, but what about those people who wanted me crying."
"We already know that killing isn't good right?"
"But at least I'm not sad."
"So what if you're not sad?"
"Then I'm happy."
"Really? Angry is not sad. Annoyed is not sad"
"Fine."
"At least tell me what he wanted."
"I told you that he wanted to be happy."
"Everybody wants it, but aren't there other ways like revenge."
"Revenge is a way of filling the hole your loved one left you, but the happiness lasts a second."
"How do you know?"
"I had some...enemies and they aren't exactly nice, but you need to know that it's just not worth it. It's not really fun after your done with them."
"Then why do people want to hurt me?"
"They don't. They jut have different ideas of happiness.
A typical guy who is full of greed will never be satisfied. They will want more and more, but they always want to catch up to the most luxurious things now. They never reach their goals, because they never had their own. Other people told them that it's the best choice."
"Don't others usually tell others to share?"
"They do, but ads tell you otherwise. Look at a typical ad and it tells you that you are missing out."
John looked at the window and saw their house is nearby, so he asked "What is the point of all this?"
"The point is that everyone wants happiness, but they have different ideas on how to get it. Some have a chance to succeed, but others are doomed to fail. There is no right answer , but make sure it's your choice and yours alone. Nobody wants to hurt you, they just want to be happy."
He got off the car and decided that the only thing he can do for his pet is to give him a decent prayer.
He thought about how much trouble his mother's sayings have saved him some trouble. John suddenly heard a cry outside. He grinned and unfolded a piece of paper that was in his room. It said:
Welcome bold adventurer!
You are outside a very large pyramid. Are you ready to start your adventure? Y/N
Good. I am your guide. After Legrasse gouged out your eyes when you tried to get the Diamond of Zeus, I have been your eyes.
I hope the circuits that are latched on to your eyes aren't harming you. After all, you programmed me to tell you everything I see. Some of the nerves you've attached makes me feel your pain, so please be careful.
Watch out! Ouch! There's a sandstorm heading our way and ouch! A thousand needles are poking at us. Okay it's just the sand, but do you think we should get in the pyramid? Y/N
We rush right inside the pyramid. I can barely see anything. Light up a match!
Whew! Much better. Okay! There's some torch wood beside you. Light it up. Okay. There's a sarcophagus right in front of you. Should we desecrate a man's grave for treasure? Y/N
We've gone this far, so turning back isn't going to do anything. Now let's get started. Your hands are full of grit. You wipe the dust off the sarcophagus and opened it. I could feel your muscles ripping itself apart, but I finally see a mummy.
His tissue paper...what?! Are you saying this is cloth? If you say so. Anyways, he doesn't seem to have any jewels. Our trip is a waste. Let's go home after the sandstorm is done.
Wait. He's starting to move around. Get your dagger. Slash him now! We don't have to deal with the undead. You manage to wound his torso and he starts bleeding a lot.
We should slash him a lot more. Ready to go berserk? Y/N
Oh Yeah! Let's start the massacre. You started off by slashing his arms. It bled a lot more than unexpected, but let's continue.
Wait. The bleeding isn't really stopping much. Let's see what happens next. Step back a little. The tissue seems to be stopping him from bleeding. Let's continue.
You leaped forward and started to kick his ass. I can hear him moaning in pain. That will teach him for not having treasure.
He doesn't seem t be dying. You took of the tissue in his face and saw a face of a young man, but it suddenly rot.
He was ready to strike you, but he suddenly ran out of blood.
Note from the programmer : Yeah. Deus Ex Machinas are useful.
You tried to look for anything to cryptic, but found a note in English. It was brown and crumpled. It said
"To whom it may concern,
This is a last ditch attempt to preserve a secret clan. They have a problem which they couldn't solve. They had a disease called hemophilia, The problem is it is hereditary. This means that it is passed down from parent to child. It causes the person to bleed a lot from a simple cut, because it takes too long for the blood to clot.
It has been a tradition for them to mummify one who is bleeding and one that is about to die. They think it heals them faster and protects them from further damage.
Now, this is the last one of their clan. He is about to die. We placed food in his sarcophagus and hope that he survives. In the event he lives, please help him survive. There are jewels that will act as payment in the event you need consideration.
The date today is June 4, 1931. I hope this will help you determine if he needs to get help immediately."
It seems that hemophilia might have caused him to be a zombie or maybe he ate a curse jewel. Who knows? maybe the previous generations ate a curse jewel.
The sarcophagus around you started to open up, so let's get out of here.
Write credit with your name. All caps.
After, he was done reading his incredibly bad program, he decided to check out what happened in school.
He saw the dean the dean asking Biff "What were you thinking?" Biff suddenly pointed at John and said "It was all his idea."
The dean suddenly asked "Then what about the tarp?"
"Yeah.: said John "I couldn't see my name on it."
He went inside the school and saw there were a bunch of hobos. He approached one of them and asked "How was the program?"
"I haven't seen anything like it." said the hobo"I discovered that hemophiliacs are zombies, so we should kill them."
John was simply wondering how could they even believe in something like this. He decided to ask further "What do you think you should do about it?"
"Start a revolution" said the hobo. "We all decided on it, so my friend is brining some pitchforks right here."
John told him "It's not really true. It's just a story."
"The computer can never be wrong." said the hobo. "It's just too smart."
John can't convince them now. He'll just let the doctors tell them.
That night, he heard the medical students couldn't tell the hobos that it was a story. The hobos were said to attack the hospital, but he hasn't seen it in the news. They probably gave up or got lazy.~
"That was quite a waste."
[Of what?]
"The hobos could have made one of the coolest revolutions ever, but quit in the last minute."
[Want to find out what happened?]
"Yes."
[One of them checked the library and proved that it was all a story.]
'That's it? No fights or anything. Just a hobo who went to the library."
[Yes, that is all.]
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