Martes, Mayo 31, 2011

Gauntlet-themed Craiglist Ad

Goldfish - We Come Together (OFFICIAL)

An Epic 8 bit music video

V. Bitatawa: Human Sized Lizard With A Double Penis In The Philippines

It has a double penis, is as long as a tall human, and lives in a heavily populated area of the Philippines.

Yet somehow the 6.6-foot-long (2-meter-long) lizard Varanus bitatawa (pictured) has gone undetected by science until recently.

The researchers suspect the fruit-eating tree dweller escaped scientific detection until now because there've been few reptile surveys of the mountain forests where V. bitatawa—or the Sierra Madre forest monitor—lives.

via news.nationalgeographic.com

Huwebes, Mayo 26, 2011

American Idol 2011 - Bono & The Edge - Spider Man - Turn Off The Dark

I never expected Spider Man to appear in American Idol, but there he is.

A Wristwatch For Math Nerds

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Want to look smart? Wear this. It also comes with its own cheat sheet, so you could brag about being smart and stuff.

Dueling Anagrams

Salad Fingers Episode 9

After three years, here is a new episode of Salad Fingers. It is definitely worth the wait.

The Final Battle.

A cool ad for Mini Fighter 3

Live Action Ace Attorney Movie Confirmed!

The live action adaptation of the popular adventure/visual novel Nintendo DS game Ace Attorney, also known as Gyakuten Saiban (逆転裁判, "Turnabout Trial") by Capcom, is now confirmed!

Narimiya Hiroki as the series main character Naruhodo Ryuichi (or Phoenix Wright)
The live action Ace Attorney movie stars Narimiya Hiroki as the series’ main character "Naruhodo Ryuichi" (Phoenix Wrigh), and he’ll co-star alongside Kiritani Mirei as "Ayasato Mayoi" (Maya Fey). Phoenix Wright’s rival "Mitsurugi Reiji" (Miles Edgeworth) will be portrayed by actor Saito Takumi.

To retain the iconic elements of the video game series, special effects will be used to enhance the visuals in important scenes. This will retain the game’s catchphrases – such as "Igi ari! (Objection!)" and "Kurae! (Take that!)". The movie will even be set in a specially built courtroom to maintain the charm of the original games.

Angry Batbirds: The Animated Series

Now this is an Angry Birds game I am willing to pay for.

Biggest domino pyramid ever... almost

Beware of ghosts.

Man Milks Own Breasts For An Article

Did you know that men sometimes lactate? It's true! Men have a low level of lactation-inducing hormone prolactin, and sometimes weird medical flukes make them secrete "milky fluids" from their superfluous nipples.

With this fact in mind, Michael Thomsen set off to do what any self-respecting journalist in possession of counterintuitive information would do: He wrote a column for Slate.

I'm 33 years old and single in New York City, a cross between Carrie Bradshaw and George Costanza—if there's such a thing as a male biological clock, mine has started ticking. I know I can't birth a child myself, but what if I could bear one to suck at my bosom? Could my rudimentary mammae yield a copious supply of milk?

Thomsen purchases a breast pump and starts pumping his man boobs with regularity, hoping trick the mechanoreceptors in his nipples into triggering lactation. The process sort of aroused him.

It was strange to apply a breast pump for the first time. My nipples aren't accustomed to regular stimulation, and though I felt like I was defying the natural order, pumping was surprisingly pleasant. Nipples are filled with nerve endings, after all, and the gentle upward tug of the pump was both comforting and erotic.

At least the question has finally been answered

Barack Obama's Signature is...

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a cartoon baby Tyrannosaurus playing with a ball of yarn.

Miyerkules, Mayo 25, 2011

How To Speak Klingon:Lesson 1

SNES Doctor Who Intro

My Little Pony Physics Presentation

Now you could see the mistakes of My Little Pony in the eyes of Physics.

H8R - Bar Bust Clip

You know after some, okay most, haters saw this, they are ready to rant right in front of their faces, so season 2 might have better ratings, because everyone expects these C-listers to be destroyed.

I, on the other hand, gladly welcome the critics, because they warn us about the crap that we are about to see/hear/experience.

I have a feeling Rebecca Black will appear.

Note: People want to see the haters destroy these C-listers, so you need to make a new TV show called When Haters Can't Take It Anymore.
Also, this looks scripted.

The best Oprah emails to Opera (the browser)

Awesome Diabolo Performance

Let's see how you can perform better than this Taiwanese kid with the devil on two sticks

Not based on a fact

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Why would you buy something that tells you it isn't based from fact.

Lego Version of the World’s Tallest Building Burj Khalifa

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No this isn't the tallest Lego tower, but a Lego version of the World's Tallest Building.

DIE-a portrait made of dice

Frederick McSwain created DIE, a portrait made of dice in memory of his friend, Tobias Wong, an artist and designer who died last year. Frederick used 13,138 dice, one for each day Tobias lived

Here's a time lapse of him making DIE

Bad Lamps - Never Know the Difference

A fan made video of Bad Lamp's Never Know the Difference.

Why is it different? It's made from cutscenes of porn films

Ocarina of Time 3D Trailer

The perfect résumé for awesome BAMF

Now that is someone you need to hire

Cop Chokes Photographer And Says " I can do whatever I want"

Apple Store Employees Discriminate In A Really Dumb Way

Apple is the target of a new lawsuit that claims employees of the company's Upper West Side store in New York City told two black men they were not welcome there.

"And before you say I'm racially discriminating against you, let me stop you. I am discriminating against you," the lawsuit claims the employee said. "I don't want 'your kind' hanging out in the store."

"Now you have to go," one of the employees is claimed in the lawsuit to have said. "If you want to know why, it's because I said so. CONSIDER ME GOD. You have to go."

What a great way to do racial discrimination. Explicitly saying it thereby getting you FIRED. Aren't they really smart?

Human Head-In-A-Jar - Maker Faire 2011

Hey You! What Song are you Listening to?

Here's a random guy asking New Yorkers what songs they are listening to.

Good news is there's no Bieber.

Someone was also listening to LCD Soundsystem... Your supposed to rejoice.

Lunes, Mayo 23, 2011

Chapter 3:The King of Genius

I decided to act like it was a normal day, so I told GUY “What the heck is happening in Genius now?”

 

[Right now, I don’t know since we get our data from a time machine.

 

“Are you wiping it in my face?”

 

[Yes]

 

“Could you at least tell me where it is?”

 

[Your stupidity knows no bounds. I’ll give you a deal. This will be the last time you will watch a vlog about Genius. Until you watch vlogs from other planets, you can’t continue.]

 

“What?!” Damn. It’s like he knows my plan. I guess I have to do what he says.

 

“Okay GUY. It’s a deal.”

 

[I decided to annoy you even further with it.]

 

“And how could you make it annoying. Adding Baby or Friday in the background.”

 

[Wow. That is annoying, but no. I decided to add boring dialogue.]

 

“You truly love to piss me off.”

 

[Roll the clip.]

 

“Wha-”

 

~At first, the tournament was taken really seriously. A lot of people participate for the sake of the kingdom. Of course, there are people who scheme to get it, but none of them are strong enough.

 

Eventually, years had passed and things started to change. The first thing that the village noticed was how fewer people had gone to the tournament. This was somehow a reason to panic for these people. They had gone through several years without a leader.

 

At first, they thought it was a good thing and pretty much ignored the tournament. They thought about doing things their way and then there was chaos. Everybody thought about doing things their way and thing were about to get worse until the royal family decided to stop it.

 

The royal family is what is left of Walker’s descendants, I have forgotten to mention this, but Walker had a wife. She was fairly tall and she had considerably good looking skin. She isn’t the most beautiful in the village nor does she stand out, but she is quite passable. She is considered to be the best fighter in the village after he died. They had three children. I could not get the details due to the time warps. I have no specific name for Walker’s wife, but let’s make one up.~

 

“Yes! Alan is following my footsteps.”

 

[You haven’t even talked to him.]

 

“Oh yeah. Wait. He was inspired by my speech.”

 

[Right. The one where you wiped it in their faces.]

 

“I was…inspiring them to rise to the top.”

 

[You mean kill you.]

 

“They talk to me like a friend. I’m pretty approachable.”

 

[Right.And you based it on one guy.]

 

“They’re pretty loyal.”

 

[I’m surprised no one has revolted yet.]

 

“I’m surprised that you forgot who was guarding them.”

 

[Who exactly is guarding them}

 

“Oh I don’t know. Some GUY”

 

[Me? Watching them? You can’t be serious.]

 

“Wait. You aren’t guarding them?”

 

[No.]

 

“Panic!!!”

 

I couldn’t help myself. Here I am on the verge of death and I couldn’t eVen carry out my plans. I started running around in circles screaming like those idiotic super villains in cartoons. I could only hope to have a weapon. Wait a second. I do have weapons. It’s in the weapon stash.

 

I started running to the door when it suddenly closed. I forgot that GUY controls the place. I could only hope to die in hunger or kill myself instead of getting tortured by these guys who knows what could happen. Maybe GUY is trying to protect me, but he’s GUY. I suddenly heard Mandark’s laughter.

 

My God. I must have kidnapped his voice actor or something and now he is going to kill me. Worse, I’m gonna be killed by a Mandark wannabe. Maybe I should’ve thought twice before telling them to make some references and then I suddenly calmed down. I looked around and saw GUY playing an audio file.

 

[You seriously thought that I was gonna let them kill you? That’s against my orders.]

 

“So you’re guarding them”I said it like some kid scared to death.

 

For some reason, GUY was able to read my mind, because he played a video. It wasn’t any video. He’s wiping it in my face, because he knows that I wanted to be a funny critic in the internet. He showed me Bison from Street Fighter saying"OF COURSE"

 

“That’s it! I’m going to build a new OS.”

 

[Let me give you two reasons why you shouldn’t.

One, you can’t even do HTML right.

Two, you aren’t even good enough to program it to guard the prisoners properly.]

 

I hate to hear it, but he is horribly right. Might as well try to stop it right here.

 

“Roll the clip”

 

Walker’s wife is now named umm…can you suggest?

 

“Let’s stick with Craza”

 

[I’ll insert it every time he calls her…whatever he uses to refer to her.]

 

Craza was a considerably mad.

 

“Hah! I knew it!”

 

~She was really nitpick-y with her children. She usually forces them to train harder with their souls after her husband died. She thinks that only people who are related to Walker should rule their village. The training that her children has is really hard. They have the most refined souls which forces them to try harder in controlling stronger souls.

 

There were about five children who died because of this, but the good thing is that there were three that survived. They were considered to be the most powerful kids in the village. When the youngest joined, he was able to win, but unable to absorb his father’s soul. This has led his mother to punish him.

 

They trained almost all the time that they missed all the tournaments. She told herself that they will someday become the greatest fighters, but that is a problem they have to face next time.

 

One day. they were having a regular training session. By regular, I mean it is the most grueling in the entire village. They fought each other which doesn’t seem so bad, but they’re just warming up. The next thing they have to do is to harvest about twenty souls and control them in less than five minutes. After that she herself will start attacking.

 

She is also the only one who uses the most dangerous weapon to the village. Magnets. She knows that it will stop you from using a part of your brain. That is enough for the souls to start fighting against you and may even lead to a very skilled warrior’s demise.

 

The magnet looked like a shard. It is only threatening when it hits the brain, but having a magnet in the brain is already a great problem. They still haven’t learned surgery yet.

 

She starts this part of the training by attacking her children with the magnet. Naturally, they must evade. Craza is really scared that they might get hit by a magnet and lose immediately, so she forces them to react quickly to these attacks.

 

She even took it to the next level by spending half a year looking for a place to get magnets. She was able to find an entire mine and it wasn’t the happiest thing the children thought about when she returned. She then went extreme in order to make sure that the children will become the rulers of the village. She decided to take a little piece and put it near their head.

 

Everyday she does this with a slightly larger piece than the day before that until half their head. She knew they couldn’t take anymore than that. They are able to resist magnets better than the rest of the village.

 

They had trained for a very long time, but somehow they felt they couldn’t obtain Walker yet. One day, she decided to stop training. The first thing she told her children was to take a day off and enjoy themselves. The first thing that the kids said was “Who are you and what have you done with our mother?!”

 

This made her mother laugh and for the first time in several years they had seen her laugh, They decided to enjoy that day. Beyond training, they barely had identities other than their physical appearance and names.

 

When they were checking the village, they had only seen chaos. Craza suddenly said “Thing really get weird when your father’s not around. We really need a leader, but I always make you train a lot.”

 

The children were once again shocked about what her mother had said. The mother they knew was really strict and always took things way too seriously, Craza seeing how things seems awkward to her children said “Maybe I’ll tell you a few stories when your father was around after we save the village.”

 

After that they had started to fight. The first thing they did was to shout and tell everyone to stop.

 

The villagers were enraged and told them that they were finally free. The royal family just scratched their heads and asked who told them this. They all said the same thing. They call him The General.

 

Craza asked what is his real name and The General suddenly appeared and said that he is the man they are looking for. The General was a very tall and muscular man. He seems like he is in his fifties and has a very rough voice. He asked what does she want. Craza said “Peace and order.” The General only laughed.

 

The General then told her “Lemme guess you want Walker to be back. Go back and cook something for your kids. A woman like you should make sure your kids will survive to face me in next year’s tournament.”

 

Craza said “I have trained my kids for years and you will not win. I’ll have you know that I was the greatest fighter in the village after he died.”

 

The General immediately responded with “Was”

 

Craza decided not to pursue further and asked “Who exactly are you?”

 

“I’m the guy who took charge after Walker left. I was a soldier, but then one of my good friends said that I should be called General. I decided to get rid of my puny past and start doing what you royal wimps could have done.”

 

“And what exactly is that?”

 

“Expand to places farther than you would imagine. My army is the largest in the world and now I call this planet The General’s home and what you call a village, The General’s main room.”~

 

“Hey what the hell?! I named this planet Genius and he better stick to it for I am the great and selfless and awesome and-

 

[I get it already. If it makes you feel better I will replace any reference to The General’s home to Genius if it makes you feel better.]

 

“Really?”

 

[Of course not. I actually recorded your entire reaction.]

 

I then saw a video clip of myself. I somehow looked like the face in IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER. I bet GUY is going to turn this into a GIF and turn it into my wallpaper.

 

Craza is the best fighter before, so I might as well hear about how she kicked The General’s ass.

 

“GUY, you know what I’m about to say so do it.”

 

The next thing I saw was GUY show the video of IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER.

 

“Stop it! I want to see The General beaten up, so roll the friggin’ clip.”

 

~“Couldn’t you at least name this village after my husband.”

 

“Yeah right.” The General said defiantly “What are you are going to do about it?”

 

“Me? Nothing.” This had outright shocked the children. They were expecting her to beat The General beyond recognition. She then continued “My kids are going to beat you in the tournament next year. Trust me you will be beaten beyond recognition.”

 

“Fine, but do you know how much competition there will be next year?”

 

“From what I’ve heard five or six participated during the last five years.”

 

“Not next year. I just got back and I’m ready for the tournament. The entire army would have been qualified, but I decided to choose my top soldiers. You will find out next year.”

 

“Fine my three kids will join and you will obviously lose.”

 

“You also need to be aware that the tournament starting next year will be global, so expect some more. Of course, they all have to fight some of my own soldiers on a one on one match and live in order to join the tournament.”

 

“Fine by me. I wouldn’t want my children to mercilessly destroy way too many people. I’m going to give the people in this village a great opportunity.” She then shouted “Whoever wants to join the tournament next year without facing The General come here right now!”

 

For some reason, no one approached and then she repeated what she said. A man who somehow resembles a cyborg suddenly said “I guess I want to join. Long time no see.”

 

Craza suddenly filled with joy ran forward and asked “Is it really you cous? I mean with all the…”

 

“Yeah it’s still me”said the mysterious man. “I don’t know what’s with the ‘changing your identity, change your name thing’ these days, but I still call my self Joshua. Ever since Walker introduced the souls, my name suddenly became common.”

 

“You in your laughable state dare to join the tournament?” said The General.

 

“Yeah” said Joshua. He then continued “I also have a friend who is more likely to join his name is Giztar-I mean morg. Yeah. Gizmorg.”

 

“Fine then.” He then looked at the crowd and said “Any more fools who dare to join this man with his laughable clothing and this crazy woman who claims her children will beat me?”

 

Inside the crowd was a lot of muttering. Several kids wanted to join, but their parents immediately stopped them. The people know that thy will undoubtedly fight The General if they are skilled, but they are fully aware of what he is capable of. They had all come to the same conclusion. Only fools are willing to join. At least that was the case until some cocky kid who acted like Naruto suddenly shouted.

 

“Hey old men! I am going to rule this world someday and I’m smart enough to choose that path. If you know what’s good for you, you would forfeit, because I’m going to win.” said a teenager who had red hair. He was wearing a black scarf, a red jacket and some worn out shoes."

 

“Why don’t you run back to your mother and ask for a lollipop? You aren’t even big enough to fight me.”said The General

 

“Give the boy what he wants” said Joshua. “You are obviously trying to prevent him from fighting you.”

 

“Are you implying that I’m afraid of this puny little kid?”

 

“Yes. He is.” said Craza. “If my kids can beat you, why can’t he beat you?”

 

“Anyone else crazy enough to join them?” said The General “And by the way, what is this retard’s name.”

 

“Largo” shouted another kid. He had brown hair and had a strong built. He seems to be 2 or 3 inches shorter than The General.“I’m his best friend and if he’s going to die from this, I’m going to join him in his quest to die due to stupidity.”

 

“Thanks Jim.” said Largo.

 

“Is today Idiot’s Day, because I’m seeing a lot of fools lately. Any other challengers?” said The General.

 

“Yeah.” said a girl. She was slightly slim and seems a little shorter than Craza. She also seemed to move really quick when moving forward. “I also have a few friends who are going to join. I will gladly see you fail in eliminating them.”

 

“That’s it. This will be the last one. Anyone else who wants to join must go through the elimination. Got that? Good.”

 

Largo suddenly approached the woman and asked who she was. She replied that she is a Forrester and she won’t give her name yet. She only said that her friends will win the tournament. Strange enough, she purred after that.

 

Largo then went to Jim and said “How are you going to survive?”

 

Jim then replied “Shouldn’t be worried about what you got in first?”

 

Let’s ditch their backstory for now and let’s check on a very interesting creature. The cyborg looking dude. Largo and Jim went to the playground as Joshua, Craza and her children go to the royal family's training grounds.

 

Craza asked "Where is Cain I mean Gizmarg or something?"

 

Joshua replied "It's Gizmorg and it's kind of a long story.Maybe you should tell your kids about our times together."

 

"I'll start now, but I want to introduce them to you first." said Craza

 

"My eldest son is named Decker." A man with an average height and a medium build stepped forward. He had keen eyes and doesn't look much of a fighter. He even looks slightly nerdy. Sort of like a medium height Clark Kent without the glasses. 

 

"He doesn't look much of a fighter. He looks more of a person who relies tactics" said Joshua. 

 

"Exactly" said Craza "he has been the guy who may not be as stong as Vestica, but he does think really fast. Speaking of which, here's Vestica"

 

A girl of tall height with strong build stepped forward. She sort of reminds you of a person from Amazon.

 

"She's the fastest, strongest and probably the most powerful one, but she gets too aggressive at times. She does think really fast and can outwit Decker when she isn't angry." said Craza

 

"What about that seemingly fat guy?" said Joshua. 

 

"Oh that's Revato. He is sort of the tank of the group, but he doesn't have much self-control." said Craza

 

A really big man came forward with a double chin. 

 

"He's the youngest?"said Joshua

 

Craza nodded. 

 

"I know that you know them better than anyone else, but I think you barely scratched the surface. I've heard that all you do is train and it seems the only thing you do know about them is how they fight."said Joshua 

 

"So why didn't you tell us about him? He seems to be really strong, but I can barely understand why he's like that?"

 

"It's complicated and I don't think your mother knows about this."

 

"Then why didn't your mother tell me about you?"

 

"How often do you train them?"

 

"A lot" said Craza.

 

Joshua sighed"I didn't really believe that you train them that much when I heard it, but I guess it's true. You had changed in some way."

 

"Maybe I should tell the kids what happened after all." said Craza 

 

"Okay, but I'll continue after your done about how I got this armor." said Joshua

 

"I would love to know how you got that" said Decker

 

"Okay it all started many years ago, I was sort of the black sheep of the entire clan. I was the niece of Alloy. It was during the time when I wasn't really strong or anything just not liked.

 

I didn't really get along with my family really well. They were always angry and they never did really like me. Of course, there were two guys close to me Joshua and...what's his name now?" said Craza 

 

"Gizmorg" said Joshua.

 

"Joshua was the nice guy who you could always count on. He wasn't the guy who tries to impress everybody and he makes a lot of mistakes, but at least he doesn't want to hurt anybody. It was like that at the time, but I'm not so sure with his new look

 

Gizmorg was an adopted child. He didn't really fit in and nobody even remembers his actual name. He has an identity crisis that just makes him want to change his name a lot. His attitude did stay consistent though. He was the one guy who kept making trouble. He always sees himself as the greatest hero ever. I never understood how Joshua sticked with him all this time, but he did."

 

"Thing weren't actually complicated"said Joshua. "Craza was the one person who never appealed to everybody. She had destroyed any kind of stereotypes they had. Your mother was probably the strongest person I knew and I stand by that. 

 

I was a rip-off. I didn't really fit in with anyone. Everyone acted nice to me, but my gut was telling me it was a lie. I was comfortable with your mother and Gizmorg and that was how it was.

 

Gizmorg never really liked who he was. All he did was try to erase any trace of who he was. He was afraid more than anything. Afraid of who he was. He wanted to be the hero who he always wanted, but he never really faced reality. As crazy as this seems I'm like this, because of him and I don't think i will ever regret it.

 

He is probably the greatest friend I had, but he never accepted who he was. he always wanted to be someone else. Someone greater. That is who he was before, but I'll leave it to you to decided whether it still stays."

 

"Our childhood may not be the greatest, but I hope the three of you had a better one than mine, but Joshua might say otherwise. 

 

I think you will better understand me if I continue my story. 

 

I was pretty much hurt in every way. Nobody like me. My uncle was the greatest guy in the village and everyone didn't like what I did, because of my status.

 

I always fought with the other kids when they insulted me. Alloy didn't like it. He wanted me to be logical. He wanted me to stop fighting. The other kids wanted me to fit in with their ideals. They wanted me to be the one who did what was expected. It wasn't that bad, but I still didn't like what they wanted me to be, so i ran.

 

I went into a forest where I met a man who was meditating. He was your father."~

 

"How come I never heard that?"

 

[Remember when some events are skipped? This is one of them.]

 

~"Your father was quite calm and I was amazed, but I didn't know what I was thinking back then. He wasn't what they wanted me to be, but then there he was calm and somehow inactive. He wasn't really ladylike, but I had no control of my emotions back then.

 

My anger needed to be released somewhere, so I chose him. I ran as fast as i could and hit him, but he didn't feel a thing. It felt like he was covered by something as light as air. He didn't seem to feel anything and all I feel was a feeling of being one. 

 

The next moment was a total mess. I had suddenly absorbed something. Something that tried to control my mind. I tried hard to fight it, but it was fighting really hard. Harder than anything I could imagine. I tried hard, but I couldn't beat it.

 

It was a powerful entity that seemed weaker than me yet it was trying hard. It felt like it was trying to break me apart from the inside. It seemed like forever, but your father suddenly came and said calm your mind and talk it like it was your friend.

 

Then I decided to talk to this entity. I asked what does it want and all it said was freedom. I asked how and it said that he doesn't know. I started panicking. I had no idea what was in store for me, but then Walker suddenly told the entity to just get along with me. He said that he doesn't know either. All he knows is that the two of us are now stuck forever and can never be separated.

 

The entity complained, but the two of us didn't have a choice. I asked who he was and he said that he is Bob. 

 

Bob started telling me what he knew. He knows he has a family, yet he can't remember them. The only thing he does know is that he was a slave in an office. Forever stuck to pay debts that were suppose to help him. He talked about a horrible system that I was unaware of. We started talking. I told him about my life and how nobody really liked me other than my two cousins. We sort of understood each other and from then on we were a team.

 

Walker then introduced himself. He said he has been trying to get more souls on him, but he only has Chris, while immediately got Bob. This was before he had fully trained. He told me to stay away from him for now, but I told him I had nowhere else to go. He decided to train me for a week then I leave.

 

For a week it felt like a day had passed. We were training hard on how to fight. He had to stop his quest to find a way to harvest souls because of this. We were having a great time during that time. It is arguably one of the best moments of my life. I never had as much fun as that time. After three days of learning how to tame our souls, we went all out and fought each other. It was sort of our bonding time.

 

We fought a lot and ate what was in the forest. He was quite older than me, but that didn't matter. We were almost equals when we fight and that was what made it fun.We never really hurt each other that much. We ignored any injury we had and continued fighting until the seventh day. After that we were sad. Walker only asked if I could stay with him until he dies after he gets back to his village. I said yes.

 

I left the forest uncertain about what to do next and then I decided to fight for a living. Bob asked if I was nuts and I said no. We decided to go exploring and ended up far away from the forest. We were in a city that they call the Warrior's Realm. It was a big city and a lot of people were trained to fight from a young age. In that city, fighting has always been the most important thing.

 

Luckily, it was the most important tournament of all. The on ethat takes place every ten years. I had defeated all of them with ease. They barely know my secret. Not a scratch in the entire tournament. It had been like that for three years until I decided to get some revenge on my village. 

 

There were some interesting people back there. One of them didn't want to fight and we sort of spent some time together. We were pretty much good friends, but one day there was a random battle and he was picked. He was beaten up pretty badly until his opponent killed him. 

 

I tried to stop them, but I was too slow. I trained harder since that day. I trained for speed.I can't blame his opponent though. As much as I wanted to kill him, he was the person everyone disliked. He never won a single battle and he was older than me. I felt sorry for him, so I didn't bother to touch him.

 

Bob thought I should forgive the people back at the village, but then it was my body and I had greater control. 

 

When I went back to my village I saw a bunch of people injured coming back. One of them reported to Alloy about what happened on their raid and Alloy decided that it's time to start a war.

 

I ran as fast as I could to Walker and when I finally saw him, he was already preparing. He said he knew about this. I asked if I could help him and he only told me to fight, so I did.

 

When the fight had started, we were the best.  We had easily pulverized every single one of their army, but they outnumbered us. It wasn't a big deal, but the others need to catch up. Walker went to kill Alloy while I started to see some familiar faces. I decided to do what I wanted.

 

I started off with the oldest one. He was pedophile and wanted me. Frankly, nobody cared, but he was a great fighter. I had escaped with my virginity, but his attempts were pure hell.

 

I decided to take my revenge on him first. He started off with trying to hit me with his axe, but I was able to block it. I then made a quick combo to make him lose his balance, then kick him in the face. 

 

I then saw one of the kids I absolutely despised during my childhood. He was cockier than ever, so I decided to humiliate him. I treated him like some broken toy. I slowly destroyed every bone in his body until he died. 

 

I continued it until I realized that I've killed off some of my relatives, but I have no ties to them. I felt only pleasure with no remorse."~

 

"I like her. Can we transport here, so we could chat?"

 

[No. That's disgusting. I'll continue the vlog.]

 

"When Walker got back, the war was over. We had a great time. We were married after that. Thing went well until he died. 

 

I carried him to that machine, but I couldn't get it out. He was stuck there until someone worthy can get him out. After that, I swore to make sure my kids will be the best fighters in order to make sure he finally gets out."said Craza. "Joshua it's your turn."

 

"After you went away, things we're hard for the two of us. People were getting tired of Gizmorg and I started to see evil things about the people you knew. They started to trust me with their secrets. Everyone who seemed nice started to show their ulterior motives. I decided to leave and hope it was a dream. It wasn't. Gizmorg was the only true friend I had left and we were lonely.

 

One day, he told me to join him and leave the village. I thought he was mad, but I understood what he was thinking. I decided to join him. The town was depressing. Everyone was acting like everyone else was out to get them.

 

For several years, we had been going around like nomads. Our lifestyle wasn't easy, but it beats staying in that village. Things were pretty normal until we heard that our village was destroyed. We felt sad, but there was nothing we could do about it. We decided to go to your village and we sort of saw you and Walker. 

We were shocked, but we couldn't do anything. 

 

We saw little kids do amazing things, so I asked them. They talked about souls and all the stuff you know, but for some reason, we didn't want to get one. We decided to go around the city. Everyone who had them was full of power and we wanted some, so Gizmorg decided that we should get one. 

 

We asked a random person how and he referred to some guy with a strange ritual. He said the first one is free, but no more after that. We were fine with a deal like that. The next thing we knew, we suffered nearly an eternity with those souls, but at last we were able to tame them. 

 

I couldn't remember their names. They weren't really happy with us. We just trained and trained until we decided that it's just not working out. Gizmorg decided to get what his soul knows and then he invented this." Joshua pointed to his armor. "Of course, it went through a lot of changes, but that's basically what it looks like."

 

"What does it do" asked Decker.

 

"It's pretty simple actually. It is fueled by souls. It easily absorbs souls with ease. It can save the memories of some souls. That means I know what they know. I can copy their moves and also have some of their power. The power of an individual soul isn't strong, but I absorb a lot, so their power stacks up." said Joshua.

 

"What happens to a soul after it has been consumed?" said Decker.

 

"That's a hard question, but I'll tell you. Their memories stay, but their essence disappear. Gizmorg thought about this and decided to do something. Every time a soul has been fully consumed, their memories along with their personality are save. Th problem is the things related to combat and anything that can help us are saved. After that, the residue souls that we won't be using will be saved in a pod with a small part dedicated to a soul. The pod prevents a soul from losing any part of itself like the machine your father built.

 

When the pod is destroyed, the soul will be released, with its memories and personality, but remember Walker's research. They will slowly fade out until they no longer exist. In terms of having your memories lasting longer, the pods are better." said Joshua.

 

"Can you continue your story?" asked Decker

 

"Of course" said Joshua "Gizmorg and I decided to go back to the village, but then the General came.He had decided to conquer the town where we were staying. We would have ran, but then Gizmorg thought t was his chance to be hero, so we stayed and fought. We thought the villagers can fight on their own and left, but we didn't know the General had troops who had souls.We tried to return, but it has already been conquered.

 

Gizmorg was really angry, so he decided to go to other villages and try to fight the General. The only thing we knew about him was his plan to be part of the tournament and that he leads The True Army.

 

Gizmorg wanted to fight the army, but I wanted to catch up with you, so I decided to come here, while Gizmorg fights as much as he can until it's time for the tournament.

 

The next thing I know I met you guys and that pretty much sums it up." 

 

"I see" said Decker

 

"Do you want to train with us?"said Vestica" I would love to know how you fight."

 

"Thanks, but no thanks. I don't want to fight you guys and I hope i don't have to fight you. I'm actually hoping one of us loses, so we don't have to fight."said Joshua.

 

"Are you scared?" asked Vestica

 

"No, but I don't wanna hurt you guys. See you in the tournament. I hope that the world gets the king it deserves."said Joshua

 

Let's got to the kid we ditched a while ago and see what he's up to.

 

Jim is talking with Largo on the upcoming tournament and it seems that only Largo will survive.

 

Jim isn't much of a fighter even if he is bigger. He may seem intimidating, but the truth is that he has not too many souls. He has more souls compared to Largo, but that's because of Largo's philosophy.

 

Jim can fight a little, but he mostly intimidates others to avoid fighting. When he tried fighting it didn't really work out. He barely knows how to properly fight, but he can be quick at times. 

 

Largo was a different person. He is cocky, but he values friendships more than anything. He wants to keep only a few friends. He doesn't want too many souls, because he could barely know them. It has been how he works and it has developed into who he is now. A fighter who values the few people he truly loves.

 

Every single soul he had trained and molded him with a wide variety of skills he uses and that has been his strong point. 

 

Largo has discovered something that not a lot of fighters know. Their souls love emotion and helps his souls become more powerful. This has been what he believed in. They knew each other since

 

Largo was the guy who wanted to be the best. He never really fit in that much with the other kids, because he never really agreed on their methods. He was always enraged when people get new souls after having tons of souls to deal with. 

 

Deep inside, Largo is a good guy. At least, that's how Jim sees it. They're still kids and not a lot of things happen, but now is probably the moment of their lives when  they finally get to do something that will be passed on for generations.

 

I am tired now and I must rest, so please wait. I will make another transmission to finish this, but for now I need to sleep. End transmission.~

 

"About the deal..."

 

[One vlog then we'll continue.]

 

"Thanks."

 

[Don't worry. I'm sure you will love the next one.]

Linggo, Mayo 8, 2011

Thor Review

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOddp-nlNvQ

3C

Thor is a movie of two worlds. Witty and full of derivatives with a mix of good and bad visuals in between.

I'll tell you right now what will be the best parts. The humor. That's it. It has a lot of funny lines. Trust me. Sure, there are some good fight scenes, but the humor tops it. The story keeps switching back and forth between predictable and unpredictable.

Asgard looked stunning, but don't expect the entire thing to be full of great visuals. This film shouldn't have been in 3D.They have a good cast, but not everyone was at their best. I do have to say that Loki was probably the most interesting character. He had some human motives and wasn't a two dimensional villain.

P.S. Hawkeye makes a cameo, but it is really quick. SPOILERS He's the guy who was about to shoot Thor with an arrow.

This film deserves a 7/11

Sabado, Mayo 7, 2011

Is this Weekly Telegraph the best newspaper front page ever?

Now that sums it up.

While I'm in China for 2 weeks, check these out

Here is my Google Reader list. It contains all my RSS feeds. http://www.google.com/reader/bundle/user%2F07175429513363130719%2Fbundle%2FMe...

If you prefer twitter, I made a Twitter account that tweets everything from my Google Reader
http://twitter.com/secretmetalist

I also have 3 paper.li that summarizes different links from twitter
Meta List Source: This is where the links from the people I follow are compiled daily.
http://paper.li/henshinger

Meta List SoRSS:A paper.li based from my Google Reader that updates daily
http://paper.li/henshinger/m

Secret SoRSS: A weekly version of Meta List SoRSS
http://paper.li/henshinger/m2

I also made a Squidoo page that has my favorite blogs and sites listed. http://www.squidoo.com/favorite-blogs-and-sites

I hope these will let you have fun. I also recommend you follow me on Twitter although I can't tweet from China.
http://twitter.com/henshinger

This was sent from my iPhone, so I have a hard time hyperlinking. I'm sorry for any inconvenience this had caused. Wait, I'm not a robot!
I'm so sorry for causing you a lot of trouble.

Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick (Reservoir Dogs Remix)

Surprisingly catch. Don't let the title fool you.

Meta Photobomb

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A baby photobombs himself.

Timelapse - The City Limits on Vimeo

Assassin's Creed Hidden Blade

We are all wishing that he is selling this on ebay

Paper computer shows flexible future for smartphones and tablets

First, smartphones are said to replace paper. Now, paper attempt to replace smartphones. What a vicious cycle.

I find the paper computer to be completely hard to use, so it is almost useless

Pixel Fashion

Portal: Reach

If this game was real, you probably wouldn't be able to sleep for about a week.

Dual Mix Dance Free Step

Bad Ask Emma Question

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I think you should help him install a lock

A Braille Rubiks Cube

Now they can feel the pain of trying to solve a Rubik's Cube.

Steampunk Sonic

Dirt Devil-The Exorcist

The devil he's...he's everywhere!

Kung Fooled

I never knew Zordon school teaches you how to do a Hadouken

Biyernes, Mayo 6, 2011

Sci-Fi Ikea Manuals



If only we could obtain those parts

Necomimi, Wearable Cat Ears That Are Powered by Your Mind

OptoFidelity "Man vs Robot" in playing Angry Birds

Easy Access Bottle Cap by Shao-Nung Chen

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There goes one of the few sources of exercise for some people.

FishChocolate

SHowing you gross food to make you buy a dishwasher

Hello Kitty Pants

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The best choice for the guys who haven't bought their mom's Mothers Day gift.

One-girl orchestra

The Two-Headed Sith Series Spyder III Laser: Death by Fun

Another Reason to join the Dark Side

In honor of May the Fourth (be with you), the real-life lightsaber has gone over to the dark side. The special "Sith Series" edition of the Spyder III, available now as an actual thing you can buy and use and burn things with, combines two Spyder III portable lasers locked together at the boring end by a Spyder interconnector. Holy hell that thing looks crazy.

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Guinness World Record for Largest Human DNA Helix

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2,600 people gather to break a world record

The Fastest and Funniest LEGO Star Wars story ever told...The Prequel!

Now you can know the Star Wars prequels without having your childhood ruined

Roll a D6 (Like a G6 D&D Parody)

This is a lot better than the original

Huwebes, Mayo 5, 2011

Crisis of Infinite Offices

Media_httptdwgeeksfil_hvofk

The Office(USA) VS> The Office(UK)

Futurama Dungeons & Dragons

Laser Hacked Plasma Cutter from Dead Space 2!

IMMA FIRING MAH LAZER

Now You’re Thinking With Portals!

David Lynch Signature Cup Coffee

Just what you would expect from David Lynch

Map Hat

Media_httpwwwboingboi_aujsn

For pirates who have really horrible memories

Man turns his head 180 degrees no kidding Freaky

The Social Network Meme!

4th Annual Newgrounds Tank Awards

I guess Pigpen was a good choice.

Hand feeding your pet Polistes wasps

As crazy as this sounds, the guy has a pet wasp and is HAND feeding his pet. Of course, you will think he's some brave guy, but he actually used science to keep himself safe.

Studies have shown that if you desensitize your captive wasps to your fingers and hands from an early stage, they will become used to you and not react in an aggressive manor. And, when workers come, the queen's body language around you will influence the workers' behavior too.

The happy medium in celebrating bin Laden's death

Superman (c) DC Comics. Captain America (c) Marvel Entertainment, Captain America photo by Andrew Dunheimer for the PSU Daily Collegian.

Superman (c) DC Comics. Captain America (c) Marvel Entertainment

Superman (c) DC Comics. Captain America (c) Marvel Entertainment

Superman (c) DC Comics. Captain America (c) Marvel Entertainment

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword Theme

Starting at 1:00 it will play in reverse for an Easter Egg

Music using ONLY sounds from Windows XP and 98!

Acoustic Alarm

Good luck waking up with an acoustic alarm

How to stop cats pissing on your car, The best cat video ever! - Craig Turner

Apokéture Science

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That explains a lot

Popping Balloons Tell Stop Motion Story For MTV Brazil

The Slow Mo Guys - Giant 6ft Water Balloon

Claymation Chess Game

Whoever said Chess lacks action needs to see this

Crovel: The Badass Swiss Knife

The Crovel has a handle with a pic axe on one end. The space end of the shovel has a serrated saw on one side and a knife-edge on the other. This thing will slice and dice zombies all week long. The other side of that crow bar/pickaxe is a hammer.

The handle is wrapped in 15-feet of 550 paracord so you can climb to safety if need be. This very interesting tool has 13 tools for all sorts of tasks. It looks like that notch under the serrated edge might be for opening the last beer on earth. The Crovel sells for about $99 (USD).

Tina Fey SNL Promos

Let's hope that there is going to be a Sarah Palin skit